iwillalwaysloveyou

fed up

2009-10-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

I GIVE YOU MY WORDS !
i WONT LET ANYONE TRAMPLE ON ME AGAIN

2009-10-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

It have been so long since i have last updated and this blog looks super dead.
I have been busy throughout these few weeks and i am still
not fully prepared for my O level which is going to take place in 20 DAYS .

I miss Hanaffi , syavina, fyna and all my friends and
I also want to say Congrats to SEHA WATSON in giving birth to her beloved princess

Hugs and kisses to everyone that i missed

230909

2009-09-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

I
am feeling very happy
with that someone
whose name is
Hanaffi

; I learn that
everything must be treasured
especially the people that love us
and care for us

Selamat hari raye

2009-09-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

Kepada orang yang dicintai , teman2 ,saudare mara
dan juga semue orang islam yang sedang membace ini,
dhiah ingin mengucapkan
ampun dan maaf
jikalau dhiah tersilap kate
termaki2 ,tersinggung perasaan korang
dhiah harap korg semua tetap gembira
Dalam keadaan yang sihat walafiat .AMIN.

SELAMAT HARI RAYE!

190909

2009-09-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

What am i to you ?
Am i like someonethat you
want to be with everyday?
or
Am i someone that you will buy
and throw away ?

I envy other friends of mine
who have guyfriends that treat them
like princesses
I envy when my father chat with my mum at
times although
it was pretty disgusting but it's still sweet
I envy old couples that always together
I envy when certain
people still hold hands till
they are already wrinkled

But i
JUST
do not understand what i want
and what i need
I just do not understand
why am i so furious
even if I am nth with you
I just do not understand why
am i still jealous
I am not understanding the reason
why am i doing this to myself ?

why do i feel happy and sad at the
same time?
Why do i feel so insecure all the time?
Why am I not happy when it's gonna be
Hari Raya tomorrow?

I just want answers
am i a failure?

190909

2009-09-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today is already malam raye ! Selamat hari raye semuer orang ...
I just wish that everyone will be happy during this festive occasion .
Mardy nak ucapkan Salam lebaran , Maaf zahir dan batin dan juga Selamat hari raya aidilfitri !

To : hanaffi
i just hope that you will be happy
and always be happy
I do not wish to see you sad anymore

ps:I just hope that i will change for
the better

130909

2009-09-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

I am feeling super down. I dont mean to hurt you .
I will always be there for you . I will still listen and talk to you .I will always stand up for you
I will always love you whole heartedly,
Listen to my heart , md .hanaffi , These words are true .
im sorry

110909

2009-09-11T07:26:00.000-07:00

DAMN NYER HP ! ROSAK SIA! SPOILT ! DAMAGE AH !

thats it

2009-09-11T01:20:00.000-07:00

I am giving him a last chance .
I am giving in one last time.

100909

2009-09-10T20:13:00.000-07:00

I have been wondering whether i have made a right or wrong decision in leaving you .
I know that couples should be patient and everything .But I have been feeling very unhappy lately .I have been having problems and i really need you a lot.
Where were you yesterday ?I was really worried sick . I apologised but why couldn't you forgive me.I thought couples should forgive and forget.
I wonder where is that sense of security which i need . I wonder what have i done wrong to be this broken . I wonder whether to give you a last chance or not .I warned you before that i am giving you a last chance when we last quarell but whatever it is , I am sorry if i always spoil your mood ,I am sorry if i ever am a burden to you,I am sorry that i am not there for you when you need me , I am sorry if i always hurt you and i am just sorry for everything when i hurt you .

Doesnt mean that we are indicates i dont love you at all .It is just that i really want you to be happy and you deserve more than what you are getting now.

To md hanaffi bin [ insert the name],
Ayg still love you a lot!

080909

2009-09-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

Just took pictures to cheer myself up .
I look kinda funny . The above is just one of the examples .
I don't quite understand people around me . I just cannot trust and believe that they
will be around me and be there for me when i need them especially
those that are precious to me .
Where were you when i need you guys ?

071009

2009-09-06T11:26:00.000-07:00

Dearest readers, sorry for not updating . I just cannot log into blogger. seriously .
I am now officially mugging for O levels .It's because i want to pass lah ,obvious right?
I really hope that my O level will pass with flying colors and then i can relax ,maybe get a job,paitaw kejer after get salary and then start schooling. Nowadays , I realise that money is hard to get and nothing is free. I have been making wrong decisions in the past ,hurt a few of my most precious ones and end up hurting myself. I should not have do that and I won't ever repeat that mistake ever again. I am so tired.I have a lot of remidials ,night classes and homeworks
these few weeks and I also have to study . I feel as if i don't have
life except for studying but oh well,its for my own good.
I really miss mates in ctyhall or spending time with cck mates .
but i still have time to date with
dearest .[boyfriend cannot be ignored mah .]

gt to go ...bye

p/s:a message to some people in my school:
I really hate you guys!
Hey dimwits,
Dont treat me like a dog kaes?
Hate me?shut your mouth up and get lost,
Stop acting as if you know everything
Damn you ,maggots ? Knn nabei @$&()_)*$#!!!!

190809

2009-08-21T06:58:00.000-07:00

To this pantat ;
aYg IS yours forever ! i love you

To my hanaffi :
Happy 9th monthsary bby .
We have come this far and we are still going strong
I still remember how we first met and how i hate you coz you are so anti-social .
I thought you are a very arrogant guy who think that girls are equal to trouble.
But after knowing you, my impression of you change .

Here , i want to thank you .
I want to thank you as you have love me a lot .
Bby have given me a lot of chances and persevere when i
have change from bad to worst .
Thank you bby , Thank you for being patient with me .

dearest

2009-08-16T06:56:00.000-07:00

Im feeling down
i nid you really
I am sorry .I really love you but it is just that I am feeling very down .
I really want to hear your voice
I really want to hug you
i really want to feel your hug and your
touch
I just want your kiss and just that warm feeling that
You usually gave me

But somehow
I really do not the hell why i am feeling so
insecure with you
I just dont know why ?

Why cant you try ?
Why cant u try doing things ?

I really love you

160809

2009-08-16T06:43:00.000-07:00

I really miss dearest.He went and spend tyme with family so I cannot meet him .
Went to lepak with jerry and ernie after studying at the library for three hours.I am completely hook up with JODI PICOULT .She is a great author and she writes awesome stories .I am currently reading books so that i can improve my english .I just hope that I can pass my O's .

To someone :
Are you happy with me ?

130809

2009-08-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

I am feeling sick and I am sick of you!

100809

2009-08-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

Had a fun time yesterday
lazy to elaborate more coz still in a bad mood

to Someone :
I am sorry

080809

2009-08-08T08:16:00.001-07:00

First and foremost , Happy birthday to Aan rudebwoy !
I hope that your wishes will always come true and smile always kae chum?

I am feeling very tired now and not so in the mood to blog .

bye

o7o8o9

2009-08-07T03:29:00.000-07:00

Guess this is my 2nd post for today
Our plan to watch up today is cancelled as hubby is sick [ksian bby]
I went to hubby's house .He look kinda weak.Took care of him while he is sleeping like a pig[no offence,b ]So when i went home and cook for him fishball soup .I met hubby again at 230 and he ate the soup.

Hubby , cepat sembuh please. I hope you will recover .I miss you ,

I LOVE YOU MD HANAFFI!

070809

2009-08-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

Hubby,balek ah cpat
i want to watch this movie !
U blanje k?

Give me novacaine[green day]

Take away the sensation inside Bittersweet migraine in my head Its like the throbbing toothache of the mind I can't take this feeling anymore
chorus: Drain the pressure from the swelling This sensations overwhelming Gimme a long kiss goodnite and everything will be alright Tell me that i wont feel a thing so give me novacaine Out of body and out of mind Kiss the demons out of my dreams I get the funny feeling so thats alright JImmy says its better than here chorus: Drain the pressure from the swelling
This sensations overwhelming
Gimme a long kiss goodnite
and everything will be alright
Tell jimmy that i wont feel a thing
so give me novacaine

The song give me novacaine sang by greenday always remind me about dearest .
He always love to hear greenday songs and is their no.1 fan ...hees
And i always love to hear this song when we lepak-ing at 250 .

My love
The blue clouds they spell out your name
The darkest night you shine in them
I love you and i can't imagine if you're not here with me
Its early days but i know for sure
That what i feel is real sincere
Lets make this ,the best time of our lifes
Be my better half

I'll give you my world
i'll treat you nice
coz for my love,i'll sacrifice
Anything i could ,
Everything i would,

[chorus]
My love ,
Your everything i could ask for
Your smile makes me happy
Your tears make me sad
And i know for sure
This is the best feeling i ever had.
Your love
brightens my dimmest light
Make my heart beat faster than before
As days pass,im gonna love you more
I promise.

The blue clouds they spell out your name
The darkest night you shine in them
I love you and i can't imagine if you're not here with me
Its early days but i know for sure
That what i feel is real sincere
Lets make this ,the best time of our lifes
Be my better half I'll give you my world
i'll treat you nice
coz for my love,i'll sacrifice
Anything i could ,
Everything i would, i wanna say something to you There's no one else that swept me off my feet like the way you do [chorus] To hubby :
Rmbr our love song b? This is the first song that i skank with you This is the song that is always in my heart This is the song that proves you are special to me and i really love you

070809

2009-08-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

I really cannot sleep because tomorrow i am not going to go school to watch that parade thingy for National Day .I asked mummy and she say okeh so yea yea...

Short conversation with mummy n me.

Me: erm mama ,besok tak gy skola bleh ? bsk cumer tgk parade kat skola ah ...malas nak gy.

Mummy: habes kol braper?

Me: 10

mummy : Dulu kalao ader ndp kat skola , mama slalu gy sebab ader free goodies [ mak aku nie org tanyer psl skola, jauh seh dier pegy. ]

finally she say okeh ... Do you know that this conversation last for about 15 minutes.I am not the one talking.Mummy sorang je yang bebual.

Before that , i went to lepak with Jerryrudebwoy ,ernierudegerl ,nad,iffah and dinni jap .Then go amek hubby kat bwh blok dier.Had a tiff about something BUT kiter dah okeh . We went to Keat Hong to take his pants from the alteration shop ,ambek asap ,Meet dudes and dudettes at sepak takraw court and then meet my SYAVINA BBY near my block there .
When i was meeting hanaffi ,there was this particular cat who keeps following me all day long .
Do i look like cats food to him? lol

so now very tired...
tILL here ...kaes? nites

6 august 09

2009-08-06T01:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday , i went to buy beanie at cotton on for 9.95.The above pictures were taken yesterday.
hehe ! dearest look so cute...

My wishlist:
1. Hoping that dearest and me will always be together
2. I want to pass my exams
3. Hoping that everyone that i love will always be safe and happy.
4.I really want to go shopping

to MPH MEMBERS AND FRIENDS [ AS MENTION BELOW]
1.Fatin
2.anwar and khai
3.nasrul
4.aan
5.faris
6.shakir
7.syavina
8.suhaimi superman
9.Suhaimi dot
10.ellyevans
11.nazirul
12.nazri
13.gummy bear
14.kak izfa
15.chehacherry
16.hazyqah

Biler lah nak lepak lagy??

gosh

2009-07-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

Firstly , i want to saay THANK YOU dearest for the compact powder !!!! i loike it!

dear readers,
sorry for not updating these few days and sorry for my lame wallpaper .
I just could not find the time to do this . I only can update my blog about twice a week .

These few days i have night class and could not spend tyme with dearest and friends.
I promise that after this o level, i will spent tyme with you guys provided if i never work lah kaan.

I am so streesed up nowadays and no one know what i feel
I cannot like pour everything out and that what makes me so tense

Dearest
I know that i do not have time for you but
I really want to talk to you
I really want to talk to you about what i feel

I am sorry

2009-07-25T09:45:00.001-07:00

To this guy that i will always love
I am sorry that i did bad things to u
I am sorry that i did not treasure you
I am sorry that im never there for you when you nid me
I think it is too late for me to realise this
I think that you will never forgive me
I have hurt you
and
it is enough .
I cannot be a good girlfriend anymore
I promise that i will always love you
I promise that I will never leave you
I promise that i will not find a new hubby
I will never find any hubby that is as good as you
I will always love you

Thank you for being a good hubby
Thank you for trusting me
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for caring for me
Thank you for covering my head with your hands
to protect mr from the rain .
Thank you for always being there

I have done a mistake once
I have done a mistake twice
I am sorry for the hurt that i caused

I am sorry
ayg love you
i really do

please forgive me

fucka!

2009-07-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

I am not a child anymore whom you can control
I know whats right and wrong
Why can i be there for you but you can't?
Why i can try n trust but u can't ?I don't understand you .
I am sorry but
i really don't understand you

??

2009-07-21T23:12:00.001-07:00

I really don't understand you
You taught me and u advice me what i must do
but why did you suddenly contradict whatever you taught me
with your actions ...
I really really reallly don't understand you...

I am sorry if i am wrong but i cannot take this
I am seriously down ... I thought that you can forgive me for everything that
i did before. I thought that you will love me . I believe that you won't look at appearance to love
But why i noticed that you seem to be talking about the past all the time?
Why did you look at me and judge?

I really cannot handle this .Neither i am a good girlfriend nor i am a good friend.
I am sorry for everything.I am not a perfect person at all .I cannot do everything on my own . Stop forcing me and telling me what to do?

21.july.2009

2009-07-21T02:42:00.000-07:00

I really hope that things will get better between us .
I know that things are tense as we get busier each day
I really hope that things will not repeat just like yesterday

I hope that we will always be together
and forever.
We will be strong enough to
manage our time well and
i hope we will have a better
understanding between each other even if we are busy with our school .

I want to be a good wife and hear your problems
I want to always be there for you
I will always want to wipe your tears away when you need a tissue.
I will always want to kiss you if you are sad.
I will want to hug you to cheer you up
I want to be patient if you are venting your anger on me
I want to correct you if you have done any mistakes .

I really love you ,bby
and i hope this r/s will last forever

racial harmony

2009-07-21T00:56:00.000-07:00

This is me .
in fuschia coloured baju kebaya.
Hot kan ?( cheybah perasaan lah aku nie)

Me and kham
Me and syamirah last year

The above pictures are all taken just now at
school as today is RacialHarmonyDay!
In case korang dont know...

Since today is the last year of us celebrating
Rachial harmony together
as a class 4e3 .
We dress in different ethnic costume
together except for certain people
who not so enthu...
Took a lot of pictures with
friends just now ...
Dearest say i
look good
but my mom
say
i
look
fat
kuang asam rite my mom?

to syavina bby:
Do not be sad kaes ?
mardy will always be there for
you .
Just luperkan those mean words
that was thrown to
you .
Don't be too stressed kaes?

love myself

2009-07-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

I really miss mph
and
the
people that
lepak wip me
dulu
I really miss those old times
I miss hearing aan
singing while faris strumming the guitar.
I miss having anuar and suhaimi to be belo
I miss khai for his super activeness
I miss fatin for her cuteness
I miss nasrul for his domineering speeches
I miss those times when we lepak at padang during the nights of puase
I miss those times when we break our fast and
buy ananas at keat hong.
I miss dot laughter
I miss shakir jokes and his tectonik
I miss gummy for his baby face
I miss the tymes that mimi,dearest n fatin skate
I miss us being together
I miss us sharing happyness and sadness together
I miss those stories that we share together
I miss the times that we convo in telephone till morning
I miss lepak-ing at aan's house when tak gy skola
I miss going out hari raye with you guys
I miss playing rain with fatin
I miss telling fatin n seha abt my secrets
I miss everyone .
I miss these guys
I miss these fools
Forgiv me for everything
I am really sorry if I ever hurt anyone's heart

I really hope that i can go back to the past and undo the mistakes which i have done
I really hope that the fights,quarells and all the
squabble were never even exist .

I miss you guys

But

I know that No matter what things have changed.
Everyone is changing
Everyone
is becoming more mature
and they
went to take different paths

I really hope that those memories that we share will never forgotten
I really hope so

Wanted:
1.Compact powder[ Revlon/silkygirl]
2.Two tone coloured dress
3.Long black skirt
4.Formal black pants
5.Roxy handbag[turquoise color/white sides with gold]
6. Straightener
7.couple ring
8.Dress from topshop
9. Baju raye [ a black dress inside then got green kebaye to wear outside]
10.camera d5ooo
11.w995 sony ericsson
12.something from cotton on body
13. A dress from cotton on
14. Books from meg cabot

Things that i have to do :
1.Memories geography and ss
2.Study math
3.Do Holy innocents high paper for chem
4.Do math mock mye paper

Things that i want to improve on:
1.my manners
2.Table manners[My food always fly away ]
3.language[i must stop saying vulgarieties]
4.stop smoking
5.be a good girlfriend
6.Be a good sister
7.Must not always skip school

dreams:
1.Open a restaurant?
2.Be a researcher ????
3.Be a housewife n a good mother someday?[insya allah ]
4.Hantar mummy and ayah gy umrah[insya allah]
5.Travel the whole world? [berangan lah aku]

Loads of things to do
But
i
have to keep going on
Dearest say that
Things will be tougher
when u
grow up
and
i must always
Not
give up till i get
what
i
want .

I LOVE you ALWAYS

2009-07-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Pictures taken today .
1 more hour to 8th monthsary. I am really excited.I cannot believe that we can last till this long and i hope this relationship will never be broken and it will last forever.
I really love you

SO here is the summary for the things i do today.

At 1.30 ,went to Dearest's crib and watch videos . At two plus ,we went to syavina bby
' house and take things to sent to syavina later .Then we went to Lot one shoppers mall and shop around forawhile. After that ,we proceed to Redhill and meet up with syavina bby. Syavina wanted to go to gig near bugis so we went to hantar her .After that ,me and dearest went to esplanade to watch the fireworks rehearsal.
I did not took any pictures but the fireworks images will always remembered in my mind.
Those fireworks are really realy superb and nice!
Then I saw fatin and her friends and chatted forawhile.She looks so hot with that dress.

This is Muhammad Hanaffi bin[ insert ]
Not that i do not know your full name but i know you don't like to display your full name.
Age17 [ not yet legal to have license ]
School at M.I
Attached with ayg at 15.11.08 but official date is 19.11.08[ dearest only know why??]
Thank you for everything that you have done for me.
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for being patience with my childish acts
Thank you for your hands as you rather dirty your hands by wiping my tears and hingus.
Thank you for trying to scrimp and save money to give me the best presents.
Thank you for brightening my day by smiling at me sweetly
Thank you for adding color in my life
Thank you for touching my face when i am down
Thank you for your advices
Thank you for guiding me
Thank you for helping me
Thank you for giving me all the memories .
Thank you for being the first guy that i ever want to be with forever
Thank you for treating me like a princess
Thank you for being my idol
Thank you for your hardwork to keep this relationship to continue.

Thank you cyg ,A million times of thank you is never enough for the things that you have done for me.Ayg love you so much and ayg will always be there for you

HAPPY 8TH MONTHSARY ,
I REALLY
LOVE
YOU
AND
IT WILL
ALWAYS
BE FOREVER
MY DEAREST BBY
.
That's my promise
that
i
will keep
and this promise
will never
be broken
.
ayg will never
stop
loving
u

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

17.07.09

2009-07-17T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hellooo,peeps! I have just finished doing my fnn coursework(erm...kinda).I am feeling so bored .I wanted to chat with my hubby but he have a lot of things to do such as his P.W and then he feels very tired and now he is sleeping like a cute donkey at his bed ...hee...
I cannot wait for tommorow as dearest and me have planned to go out and watch the fireworks rehearsal.I have planned for almost a week on what i am going to wear. I have to look good and in a tip-top condition right for our date .chey baahs !

Currently ,I have been extremely busy with my studies and my coursework .I apologise to all my best friends and friends if i never spend time with you ,guys.I hope you will understand this .I promise that after my O level , i will spend time with you guys,aites? I really miss all my friends.

Speaking about my subjects, i am beginning to focus more in my studies and i have tried to study harder.I am quite worried for my examinations .I really want to study hard and i want to make something as my strength.

I LOVE YOU BBY!

17.07.09

2009-07-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

Dear hubby,
Remember this few pictures?
These few pictures that i have put here may be taken a few months ago but it is always fresh in my mind.Remember how we first stead ? Remember our first gift for each other ?Remember our outing at East coast?Remember our first skank TOGETHER?

I remember that when i first met you ,I thought that you were very proud of yourself and very antisocial person.I thought you have a very bad temper and you scared me when you talk at times.After getting to know you better , we started to talk in msn and you said i was very irritating as i talk a lot.I remember the times that we were just brother and sister. .I remember how you were there for me when i was crying .I remember what happen at 227.I remember when you were first drunk and i remember how i got drunk and you were there for me.
Remember?
See that guy over there .He is my dearest hubby that I will ever love .He have been there whenever i need him .He have tried to guide me for these past few months.I believe that he is the right guy for me . I really hope we could last together.I hope that we will always be with each other till we are old.Happy advanced 8th monthsary for this coming 19th of july ...Thank you for everything that you have done for me. Thank you for being patient with me . Thank you for loving me.Thank you for being strong when i am weak even if you have problems.Thank you for giving me those sweet memories. Thank you for being my friend, boyfriend and a great hubby .Thank you bby ,Ayg love you so much . This first post is for you .